infrequently
and
not openly.
i feel that there are certain professional restrictions that make me reluctant to write what i'm thinking and feeling.
but i'd like to try to express.
i guess sometimes i feel like i'm trying to force a square peg into a round hole, but that i'm oblivious to this fact. i like where i am.
i like my house.
i am grateful for my job and really want to excel.
my department has grown and i'm not quite sure how to deal with this growth. i'm happy and glad for the new people and positions. but in some way, i really find that more and more i need to find time to work with less distractions.
i feel like there's scrutiny, there's a constant search for perfection. it's good to strive, but sometimes we need to learn to accept. not always to strive, but to say hey this is the way things are right now. lets accept it and move forward.
i think about the future. i think about the possibility of going back to school. of finding my way to financial independence and the opportunity to have a bit more control over my schedule. but then i want to think. i don't want to draw conclusions just yet. keep it open ended. see what happens. see how i'm feeling, thinking down the road.
how can i take care of myself and my stresses on a day-to-day basis?
how can i look outward and be generous towards others?
how can i look forward?
where do you find your nourishment? your inspiration?
i want to find that every day.
